


twin skeletons

by pineovercoat



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: A Study in Ouch, Angst, Gen, Implied Deathwish/Suicidal Ideation, M/M, Mixed feelings, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Relationship(s), Uneasy Allies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 07:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12859317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineovercoat/pseuds/pineovercoat
Summary: Ficlet written for the prompt:You’re faithful to the better man; I’m afraid that he left.





	twin skeletons

**Author's Note:**

> An old thing from tumblr that I found and dusted off as a break from working on WIPs. Ben defected from the First Order but that doesn't mean everything is sunshine and daisies. You can't pick and choose where you left off, pal.
> 
> Prompt taken from a Leonard Cohen lyrics meme (song is "Take This Longing").

It wasn’t often that they found themselves alone together.

Ben was grateful for that. There was an open wound between them, all too easy to fall into, one that filled him with a burning regret which threatened to swallow him whole.

That wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, these days. It came easier than anything else, filling the space between them like liquid in a vessel. His shame made the silence unbearable, and before long, words poured from his mouth, trying to restore equilibrium, seeking out the cracks eroded by the years- the memories, the promises, the betrayal.

“Once,” Ben whispered, “you said you loved me.” He winced. Blunt, desperate, graceless- how fitting.

Poe turned to him, startled. When he finally spoke, his tone was polite enough, if hollow.

“Did I?” He answered, his eyes narrowing as he squared his stance. “Isn't it funny, what time’ll do?”

Ben looked at his shoulders, stiff from the tension curling tight in his spine, to the shiny pull of scar tissue on his cheek, and finally to the hard, unhappy line of his mouth. Fury burned bright within Poe, just for a moment- Ben didn't need the Force to feel it- and then it was gone, as soon as it came. He scrubbed a hand across his jaw, the exhaustion plain on his face.

“Years ago,” Poe said, voice thick, “I could say putting a blaster to your head was unimaginable.” His right hand moved at his side as he spoke, fingers twitching like they were bent over a trigger even now. _No one would fault you,_ Ben thought, eyes fixed on his hooked knuckles. _I'm not even sure I would stop you._

“But that was before,” Poe pressed on. “Before you-”

He raised his hand to Ben’s forehead, ghosting an arc over his hairline, “…before.”

It was a pale imitation of a memory- the torque of his own gloved hand, the power of the Force. It still hung heavy between them, the echo of his crimes hardly dampened by time.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

Ben obeyed, meeting his eyes. They were dark, and they were sad.

“A lot of things have changed, Kylo Ren,” Poe said softly. He tapped his index and middle finger to Ben’s forehead, right between the eyes, and thumbed down sharply like he was striking flint with durasteel.

The snap was muted, soft, and Ben shut his eyes the moment it sounded. He tried to pretend the darkness was deeper, more final, than the thin veil of his eyelids allowed, but the warmth of Poe’s touch kept him tethered, kept him from going too far under.

It was both far more and far less than he deserved.


End file.
